


Of Signific-ant Import-ants

by Jonaira



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ants, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Humor, I Don't Even Know, Lols, Scott Lang is a Good Bro, Slice of Life, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24864433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jonaira/pseuds/Jonaira
Summary: What it truly means to be The Ant-Man: An Exploration"Yee-Haw," Scott whispers as he strokes his aphid gently.
Relationships: Hank Pym/Janet Van Dyne, Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	Of Signific-ant Import-ants

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thewhitecollarimp](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thewhitecollarimp/gifts).



> Because thewhitecollarimp asked for Scott chilling with his bros the ants.  
> How am I so talented. Wow.

"No no no, but it's your _culture_ , your heritage y'know ? It's important for you guys to be aware of it!"

The one worker Argentine ant who Scott had pulled out of the line to have a chat with longingly twitched its feelers toward the steadily moving line, looking rather, well, _antsy_.

"I mean it's important for you guys to pick up some Spanish right, like just basic Intro to Spanish 101. I'm not saying you should be spouting Pablo Neruda, _or_ , or like quoting Gabriel Garcia Marquez, though if you could that would be _totally_ rad. Cause see, you have _roots_ down in Argentina and Brazil ! Maybe you can just march along to a like, samba beat or something. I know!" He snapped his fingers. "Samba Saturdays ! And Sundays, and everyday of the week ! Bees dance all the time and they have great work force morale !" 

Scott jogged along as the ant clicked its mandibles at him in reproach and re-joined the scout line, completely giving up on the conversation.

"Aw c'mon!" Scott called as the ant scuttled away. "I wasn't trying to compare you to those fuzz-butts ! You know I'm a one insect kinda guy !"

By now his absconding conversational partner was way out of sight, and the other ants were looking at him funny. One came over and offered him a crumb in concern. He patted its head in thanks. Raspberry muffin, his favourite !

"I'm just saying, you guys were most probably introduced to the United States in freight ships around the 1890’s." He tells the crumb-bearing ant as he chewed the slightly stale remnant of last night's dessert. "We could do a foreign exchange programme, get some of your larvae to hatch in a colony down south and then bring them back over here! Hank would totally sign off on it !"

The crumb-bearing ant was slowly backing away from him.

"Everyone's a critic," Scott huffed, spewing muffin bits.

* * *

The queen fluttered her wings at him. 

"- so the grasshopper, what was that? Oh pass you the sugar, yeah sure Big Mama, need to eat up so all those babies can get laid. Er, not like that. You know how I mean."

The queen patted his head with a feeler. "Yeah, I love you too Big Mama." Scott cuddled her.

"So where was I, oh yeah, and then the grasshopper starved in winter and died. The end." He shut the book and yawned massively. "Peanut always used to cry at that part, she never really liked this story." 

The queen clicked and chittered and immediately two workers came scurrying out from a side chamber. They cocked their heads at the queen's instructions to them and then made their way towards Scott, picking him up and carrying him along. "Whoa you guys! I can get up to the surface myself !" They didn't slow down, even jumping over a couple of lines of scouts.

"Jeez, guess she didn't like the _Grasshopper and the Ants_ either huh," Scott muttered to himself. "I'd have shown myself out if she'd said so earlier, y'know ?" He told his carriers.

Except they didn't carry him to the surface, instead heading over to the nursery chambers. There's a freshly hatched section, with the membrane sacs empty but still covered in films from where the larvae had broken out. A few ants are feeding a bunch of newborns nearby and wave their feelers in greeting as the three of them hurried past. One of the ants put Scott gently down into a newly vacated sac, and began tucking him in carefully, making sure to leave his head free to stick out above the translucent membrane.

"Was this about me yawning in front of the queen ? It totally was right ? Aww, Big Mama thought I was sleepy, didn't she ?" He wriggled his shoulders partly to get more comfy, and partly because of the surge of warm fuzzy feelings overtaking him. Then again, those might just be residual pheromones from the nurse ants. "Someone's getting awfully broody." He tells them. The two ants looked at him askance. "Like mama hens do ! When they have eggs to hatch! Broody." He explains. 

The two ants seem satisfied that he's been securely put to bed, even if they appear mildly concerned about his mental status. One of them leaves him a drop of honeydew as a midnight snack. 

"Come to think of it, I _could_ do with some Z's." Scott murmured, already halfway asleep.

* * *

"I really think this could work, y'know ? I wouldn't charge _you_ guys, of course not! But mental health is important ! You should have somebody who you can talk to about burnout and stress, we all deserve that. It totally helps to have a neutral, outside perspective on issues." Scott waved a hand in emphasis and a couple of ants gathered in the circle around him ducked.

They don't seem too sold on the idea, twitching their antenna in slight consternation, but are too polite to outright leave. A couple of the younger ants are playing Fetch the Bread in the back.

"C'mon you guys, tell me _Scott Lang: Agony Ant_ doesn't have a great ring to it !"

* * *

" _Yee-Haw_ ," Scott whispers as he strokes his aphid gently. 

"Geddit ? Because I'm like milking you guy's cows and I just spent half the morning helping y'all round up these bad boys-" His aphid squeaked.

"- _good_ boys, sorry little guy, I meant good boys- so that makes me a cowboy. Of sorts." 

His supervising ant deftly collected the honeydew Scott's aphid produced and spared a pat for Scott's head in approval before moving onto the next aphid in line.

Scott in turn patted his aphids' head. 

"... _been a load of compromisin', on the road to my horizon._.." He hummed cheerfully. His aphid bops along.

* * *

"He does know that he's mic'd up right ? That we're hearing all of this ?" Hope checked with her father.

Hank shook his head, not looking up from his microscope. "This is the man that you voluntarily choose to date. This is your (ant)hill to climb."

"Well I think it's sweet," Janet hugged her daughter and husband. "Plus, don't think I didn't see the plans for that exchange programme, Hank."

**Author's Note:**

> Aphid rearing by ants is an actual thing
> 
> See  
> https://www.dairymoos.com/ants-milk-aphids/


End file.
